Epi-Please

OK, I get it. You have allergies. That's cool. Some people are freaks of nature and I don't discriminate. But come on! I have to brush my teeth every time after I eat Nutter Butters or you won't let me make out with you? I don't know, kind of sound like a lame excuse for being prudish if you ask me. I've never seen you go into anaphylactic shock. And what if I want to cuddle up with you on a bed of kittens? I've weighed my options. I am breaking up with you.